If Childhood was tough, life doesn't have to be!
Updated: Dec 15, 2018
We are a product of our past, to be in the present, we need to accept and make peace with our past. Our future depends on it. ~ S.A. Hussaini
It's tough being a child, we always look up to others and trust them for our well-being. As adults it's their responsibility to make sure we do not suffer.
This article is for all those who have directly or indirectly suffered in their childhood and now live a life in the shadow of these dark clouds.
Every emotionally intense experience creates a mental anchor in our minds. This anchor is what I call, Self Hypnotic Unconscious Thought Loop (SHUTL) and for the rest of our lives we keep SHUTLing in the form of obsessions, compulsions, phobias and anxiety.
Obsessions and Compulsions
Compulsions are behaviors that individuals with obsessions display in order to relieve themselves of their anxiety.
A child who experiences extreme poverty or constant fights between parents on money, may develop a SHUTL of Hoarding (Hoarder OCD) or in some cases, a disregard for money. This child may not stop hoarding and accumulating wealth and material goods even when she doesn't need it. She will always give priority to money and stuff over relationships because in her heart she still fears extreme misery in the absence of wealth.
Possessiveness is having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others: a possessive parent or husband
A child who doesn't get enough attention, affection or acceptance of one of the parents or loses them due to Death or Divorce, will always crave for security and assurance, may develop a SHUTL of losing people or get scared of relationships.If they do get into a relationship, they will become extremely possessive and live in constant fear and anxiety.
Tantrums and emotional blackmail
A child who doesn't get attention and affection for positive behaviors may seek negative strokes by getting into brawls or even extreme adventures which have a very high probability of injuries. This child may come home hurt and immediately get attention.
Another way is to cry or break things to get what she wants. If the elders comply; this becomes a SHUTL or habit. This child may grow up to become extremely rude person or a great emotional blackmailer who threatens to hurt self or others if she doesn't get what she wants.
Helplessness and self pity
A child who grows up listening to parents and elders that we are helpless in the hands of destiny, the rich or the politicians may develop a feeling of helplessness and self pity. This child would keep cursing self, circumstances in life and even her own parents for her failures.
She also learns the art of self pity and starts to seek sympathy from others to comfort herself. This is a very dangerous SHUTL since this is an easier path and very convenient.
All these SHUTLs are negative however we can have positive SHUTLs like affirmations.
Some of the affirmations that we need to replace these SHUTLs with are:
I am enough.
I am more powerful than my urges
I control how I should feel
I am the master of my destiny
Everyone is here to help me become successful
Every adversity comes with a hidden opportunity
Every struggle makes the result more enjoyable
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Mindfulness helps us become more aware of our own programming, of the countless SHUTLs that we keep playing in our minds like broken records.
Ask yourself what have you been telling yourself unconsciously is it positive or negative?
By. S.A. Hussaini